alone.

it just feels so terrible to be alone. you think. of things. many things, any things.
and when you really need someone to be there, for perhaps that few minutes, they may not spare you the time.
or you may reject, but silently in your mind hoping that he will just continue talking, about anything. But oh well.

anyway, i hate my civics tutor.

imagine a boy who goes to school punctually everyday, except for once when he was sick.
he doesn't smoke, he doesn't fight, he doesn't talk back to teachers.
he does his work, sometimes late when he got a lot of other homework, but he still handed them in.
he doesn't give teachers any major problems.
BUT he doesn't talk to people in his class because they dun wanna talk to him.

but his conduct was : Good
the worse he ever got.

compared to another female classmate in class of another type.
She is small, but because of her type, she is popular among certain people in the class, including the teacher.
She is frequently late.
She skips school.
BUT she talks to people in the class, just because she is a GIRL, and she got the same thing as the teacher, she got a EXCELLENT.

oh well. the world has changed. the teachers are getting blinder and blinder each day. I hate people more and more.

perhaps, that explains my recent character. whereby i really cannot control it, but the whole mentality in my head whenever i see the person i hate that much, is to destroy the person.
well. new torture for someone. :)

i shall lock her up in a room whereby i put smelly pork with mosquitos all over, then lock her up inside for 10 days.
after that, if she din eat, and dies. good.
if she eats, hor hor, then cut her flesh. and pour honey on it.
and release bees on her. :)
well. think of the rest yourself.
and i shall make her sons become daughters.

go figure who. :)